Mother's Day Reflections

I have to admit, I've been really looking forward to Mother's Day this year. Last year was honestly pretty awkward, because I was 8 1/2 months pregnant, and everyone was wishing me a happy Mother's Day and my uncle made a special point to include me in his Mother's Day prayer, but I didn't feel like I could celebrate it yet...I mean, technically, yes, but...Anyway. It was awkward, is all. This year, after eleven months of being mama to my Miss Adelaide, and having experienced the highs and lows that motherhood brings with it, I feel like I've earned the right to celebrate this Mother's Day. If that makes sense.

The past few days, I've been reflecting on my brief time as a mother, and what I've learned, accomplished, and still struggle with.

Those first few months were such a struggle. My postpartum depression was at its worst. I felt so alone, I felt trapped and miserable. I felt like I wasn't myself anymore, and the scary thing was I wasn't sure if I ever would be ME again. Someone told me that you're never the same person again after childbirth, and although I know they didn't mean it in a bad way, those words terrified me, because I didn't like the person I was. I hated feeling ashamed for giving up on breastfeeding after my milk refused to come in, and spending painful hours pumping to produce only 4 ounces a day. I felt constantly guilty for not being like the other new moms who had bonded so perfectly with their babies, when it was three months before I could honestly feel the beginnings of love for my baby. When Adelaide was three months old, Josh and I went walking with another couple with a baby who was the same age, and the mom kept saying how every little thing was so exciting, how her heart was so full of love, and when we got home, I cried into my husband's chest for what felt like hours. I told him I just didn't feel like I could be around other mothers for a while. And I got angry at the flip of a switch. I don't think I'd ever gotten angry like that.

There were so many times when I regretted becoming a mother, and wondered if I'd even been meant for motherhood.

It was so hard to see anything but darkness ahead. And looking back on it, I should have gone back to my doctor and admitted that my PPD wasn't "getting better," and I probably should have gone on medication. It's taken a lot to get to the point where I am now, finally starting to settle in and enjoy motherhood, and to feel like myself again. I can't tell you how grateful I am to have gotten to this point.

I will say I've learned a lot, not just about "momming," but about taking care of myself and my relationship with my husband, which are both so, so important.

One of the most important things I've learned is that yes, of course, you have to take care of your baby, but you have to take care of yourself too. So if that means having the husband take the baby so you can shower, or having a relative take her for a couple hours so you can just go to the store or get coffee alone, or letting that pile of laundry sit while you work on your hobby, that's fine. Self-care has been so important, and it really helped my sanity. Just like frequent date nights and just taking time for each other are important to keep Josh and my sanity intact.

I used to hate the "How do you like being a mom?" question, because I felt like I couldn't answer it honestly, but now I do genuinely like being mama to my little girl. It's fun, I'm more confident (and happy!), and I'm finally starting to be excited about all those little milestones. And it is really rewarding.

I love playing with my sweet girl. I love how excited she is now that she's learned how to clap and play "so big". I love that wide, toothy smile. I love how she will climb on my lap and let me read to her. I love her very rare, but very cute giggle. I love how she says "Numnumnum" when she's eating. I love how excited she gets when Dada comes home. And I love when she gives hugs. She's pretty stinkin cute, and I love smothering those chubby cheeks with kisses, even though she hates all forms of physical affection.

I definitely still have stuff to work on...I mean, the other big lesson Josh and I both learned this year is not to take shortcuts with raising Adelaide (even if it means less sleep...sleep training, for one, is hard on everyone involved!), but it can be so tempting to make it just a little bit easier on yourself, even when you know it's a bad decision in the long run. Personally, I need to work on my patience (Did anyone else's patience just disappear during pregnancy? Seriously, I used to have so much patience, and now I have none, not for anyone.), and not stressing about being supermom, because I do let that get to me. It's okay to have dirty dishes and unfolded laundry! In the end, they're not important.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that being a mom is hard (oh my goodness, so hard!), but it can be pretty great, and that makes it worth it.

Happy Mother's Day to all you mamas out there! You are amazing! Keep up the good work.

May Minimalism Series - 5 Easy Ways to Save Money

Happy Friday, friends! This week feels like it's been a short one, since Josh took off Monday and Tuesday so we could have a mini vacation, but still...I'm happy it's Friday. Does anyone else crave weekends more the older you get? Seriously, looking forward to the weekends are sometimes what get me through the week, even if all we're doing is staying in and being lazy. And it's nice to have Josh to help take care of Adelaide too, not gonna lie. Also, this Sunday is Mother's Day, and I'm definitely looking forward to it.

Anyway, the theme of this post may not seem like it fits with minimalism, but if you think about it, minimalism is about having only what you need and love, and that can be a good formula for saving money. I know it's definitely helped me to curb my spending habits!

I'm always looking for ways to save money, especially now that I'm a stay at home mama and we have to be a little more careful with our spending. Here are some of the ways I've learned to cut costs:

1. Meal plan. This is a very easy way to cut down on your grocery store spending. Once a week, sit down with a sheet of paper or your phone, and write out what you're going to eat each day for at least a week (I like to do two weeks, because grocery shopping with a baby can be rough!)--breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Then make a list of everything you need for those meals. I also try and do a quick inventory as I'm doing this to see what we already have so we don't buy excess. This is a really good way to keep yourself only buying what you need. And it makes cooking so much easier because you already know what you're making that night!
2. Nix eating out and cut down on Starbucks.  Josh and I used to eat out a lot. At least twice a week. Depending on where we ate, that's $50+ a week. The realization that I could make our dinners for $5 (or less!) at home helped to really put that into perspective. After Adelaide was born, we cut eating out entirely, and I started making a couple bigger meals so we could just eat leftovers on the weekends. Now, we keep eating out to once, maybe twice a month, and we leave Starbucks for a treat. Neither of us are huge coffee drinkers anyway, so that one wasn't too difficult.
3. Avoid impulse buys. Making the move towards minimalism often helps to change your perspective on spending money, because you're focused on only bringing things into your home that you need and love. You can try setting a shopping ban for things outside of necessities, and see how your shopping habits change. Currently, when I'm shopping, I like to walk around with the items in my basket for a bit, then reevaluate them before I check out to see if it's something I really need/love. Usually I will wind up putting it back. I've also stopped buying things before trying them on, and I've cut online shopping for clothes unless free returns are offered.
4. Shop at thrift stores for quality used items. I love thrifting, and it can be a great way to save money and find unique pieces. Still, be careful of falling into the trap of buying something simply because it's cheap!
5. Utilize your local library. The library is a great option to borrow the books, CDs, and DVDs that have been on your lists! This saves money and prevents you from bringing excess clutter into your home. Josh and I used to buy movies that we wanted to watch because when they went on sale, it was cheaper than renting them on iTunes or Amazon...We now have quite a large DVD collection, and only about half of those movies are ones that we really loved. Borrowing is a much more cost effective option. My library also has an app that allows you to download books to your phone or tablet, which I have recently been making good use of!

Those are five small ways we save money, and they have made a big impact!What are your favorite money-saving tips? I'd love to hear them!

May Minimalism Series + 31 Day Declutter Challenge

Hello, friends! It's been a while! I'm not sure whether it's because I was feeling uninspired, or I didn't have the time to sit down and blog. Maybe a mixture of both? Regardless, I have some fun plans in store for the month of May (Also, I just realized...it's May! We're almost halfway through 2017!)! If you've been following along for any length of time, you know that minimalism and conscious living are two things I'm passionate about. I thought that since May and minimalism seem to fit nicely together, what with alliteration and the desire to spring clean that crops up around this time of the year, I would do a series of posts on minimalism, at least one per week. Let me know if there's anything in particular you want to see!

I thought I would kick off the month with a minimalism challenge! 31 days of decluttering, so that at the end of the month, your home feels less chaotic and you can breathe easier, without the weight of unnecessary items bogging you down. I am at a point in my minimalism journey where I feel fairly comfortable with the amount of stuff we have in our home. Of course, there are always things that crop up, areas that can be revisited, and I will definitely be tackling some of those this month!

Even if a 31-day challenge isn't your cup of tea, I hope that this list can inspire you and help you to find a good starting point if you are looking to declutter your own home. If you want more detailed tips to help you with decluttering, be sure and check out my post on how to declutter, and my more detailed post on how to declutter your closet.

So, let's dive into the challenge!

1. Clothes

We're not starting this challenge off easy! Go through your closet, one drawer and hanger at a time, and pull out everything you neither need or love. Do this with your clothes, your baby's clothes, and encourage your SO to go through their clothes as well.

2. Your Purse

Pull everything out of your purse. Toss any trash (gum wrappers accumulate in my purse like crazy!) or expired products, pull out anything that's doesn't belong, and give the inside of your purse a good cleaning. If you're up for more decluttering, now's a good time to tackle your purse collection!

3. Shoes

Pull out all of your shoes and get rid of any that you don't wear on a regular basis. I had a collection of pretty high heels that I loved but never wore because they were such a pain and endangered my ankles! They were so hard to let go, but I don't miss them a bit!

4. Accessories

Jewelry, scarves, hats, belts, sunglasses, you name it; pull them all out and keep only those that you really love.

5. Makeup

I only recently learned that makeup has an expiration date. The little symbol on your makeup that looks like a little makeup container? The number in that tells you how long it's good for. Go through and get rid of anything that's expired. Also get rid of anything you don't use anymore.

6. Nightstand

Josh and I have antique nightstands with huge, deep drawers that are absolute clutter magnets. Go through your nightstand and pull out anything you no longer need or love.

7. Under the Bed

If you're like us, and use the under the bed space for storage  (boxes of Magic cards fit quite nicely there!), you may have clutter built up there. Or at least things that have fallen underneath and need to be cleaned out.

8. Linen Closet

Go through all of of your sheets, blankets, and towels, and get rid of any excess, pieces you don't use, or that are perhaps too worn or discolored for use.

9. Bathroom Cupboards

Empty your bathroom cupboards. Sort out unnecessary/empty toiletries and safely dispose of expired medication. This is also a good opportunity to scrub down your bathroom!

10. Cleaners

We had so many cleaning products when we moved! I got rid of the bulk of them in favor of a couple more all-encompassing cleaning products.

11. Laundry Room

We store so many things in our laundry room, mostly tools and cleaning things. And anything we don't know where to store. It builds up fast! Go through everything in your laundry room and purge anything you don't need.

12. Kitchen Cupboards

Go through all of your kitchen cupboards and get rid of excess or dishes and utensils that you just don't use. I think this is an area where it's important to be extra thoughtful. I know I've gotten rid of things that I thought we would never use, or had too many of, but later regretted it.

13. Kitchen Gadgets

I'm pretty sure we've all at some point or other purchased a gadget that seemed like the greatest thing ever and it was going to improve our quality of life exponentially, and then never used it. Time to sort through and donate any unused gadgets!

14. Under the Kitchen Sink

This can be another sinkhole for clutter! Honestly, if I don't keep it organized, a bunch of junk just builds up. I don't know how, but it does! Go through and give this area a good clean-out!

15. Pantry

Pull everything out of your pantry and get rid of anything that's expired or you don't plan on eating. If the food is still good, see about donating it to someone you know will eat it, or to a local food bank. This is a great opportunity to take inventory of what you have so it doesn't go to waste/you don't buy anything extra.

16. Fridge/Freezer

Same thing with the pantry. Pull out anything you're not going to eat, that's expired, or those leftovers that never go eaten. Then take the opportunity to scrub down your fridge!

17. DVDs, CDs, Video Games

This is a challenging area for me, since my husband will not get rid of a video game, CD, or DVD that he spent money on, even if he hated them, or knows he won't watch, listen to, or play them again. This mindset has slightly altered recently, and he's more open to gifting them to people he knows will enjoy them. Do the same with your collections! Go through and purge anything that you don't like or will no longer watch, listen to, or play, and either donate them or give them to someone who will enjoy them.

18. Hall Closet

Hall closets are notorious havens for clutter. We use ours as a game/coat/storage closet and it can be tricky to keep from getting cluttered. Go through your hall closet and purge!

19. Board Games

Josh and I both enjoy playing board games, and these guys take up an awful lot of space! Get rid of any board games that you no longer play or are missing pieces. And if you're like us and somehow magically accumulate decks of cards, consider cutting down to one or two decks.

20. Books

This one is hard for me, guys. It was a lot harder before I read The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up and Marie Kondo's words struck home. I enjoy reading, but unless I really love a book, I don't read it again. I also have (had?) a bad habit of buying up lots of books to read and never reading them. Go through and ask if you really love a book, if you really will read it, and get rid of anything that you won't.

21. Junk Drawer(s)

Go through your junk drawers, pull out anything you don't need, and then organize them.

22. Kid's Toys

I think Josh and I have maybe bought two toys for Adelaide, and yet she has SO many! Kids accumulate things so, so quickly. Get rid of anything your kiddo no longer plays with or has outgrown.

23. Baby Things

If your baby has outgrown her Boppy, no longer needs spit rags, or has 53 binkies, it may be a good idea to go through all of her things and see what needs to be gotten rid of.

24. Electronics

I feel like a lot of us have a hard time getting rid of old electronics, and so they just kind of sit around in storage forever. Go through and get rid of or sell any electronics you no longer use.

25. Cables/Cords/Chargers

We have a box in our laundry room that's just marked "cords." Go through and get rid of any cords that don't go to anything and you know you'll never use. Get rid of chargers for electronics you no longer own, or if you have five for your current phone, maybe consider paring down.

26. Craft Supplies

This one is always hard for me, because I would hate to get rid of something and then want it for a project later on down the road! But go through and get rid of anything you know you won't use is no longer something you're into, or something you have unnecessary duplicates of.

27. Miscellaneous Decor

Assess your decorative items and ask whether they bring you joy and add to your space. Get rid of anything that doesn't.

28. Storage Spaces

Go through your garage or storage space (if this is a really daunting task, maybe choose one area to work on) and get rid of anything you don't need. Whenever the storage shed at our condo seems a bit overstuffed, I like to go in and take inventory of what's in there and whether we actually need it. We also just just discovered we have another storage space that the previous owner left filled with stuff, so clearing that out is definitely on the docket for this month!

29. Your Car

I actually really need to do this one. I've been putting it off for ages because I keep thinking maybe, just maybe, Josh will eventually take care of it. Go through, clear out any trash, bring in things that belong inside (if you didn't miss them, maybe it's time to donate them?), get rid of things you don't need  in your car, then clean everything really well.

30. Papers

Birthday cards, thank you notes, old bills, pay stubs, old tax stuff, manuals to things you no longer own ... None of this stuff is worth holding onto! Go through all of the paper stuff that you've accumulated and purge! Most manuals can be found online, and some things can be scanned and stored on a computer. Just be sure to shred anything with personal info on it.

31. Digital Space

Clean out your email inbox, your texts, your photos, your contacts, anything that's bogging down your digital space. It's a daunting task, but it's well worth it in the end!



Well, there you have it! I'd love to know if you participate in this challenge! Let me know how you do! Happy decluttering!